Ugh, don't tell me, I'm late, I already know, this movie came out over a month ago, but so what? I mean, I SAW it didn't I?? So better late than never, am I right? So here's the summary and review.
It started as Alice being a little girl and interuppting her father while he was doing some business with some people. She had a nightmare about a dodo bird, a blue caterpillar and a crazy hat man. She then asks him is he thinks she's gone mad. He says yes, but those people are the best.
THIRTEEN YEARS LATER . . . .
Alice and her mother are riding in a carriage to a party that Alice's fiancee's mother is throwing. But there's a special surprise, her fiancee is going to ask for her hand. After her father died just recently there is much tension about corsets and stockings and all that old fashioned stuff. Her mother-in-law-to-be is walking with Alice in the forest. And is telling her about how she hates ugly grand children. There's a rabbit running through some bushes that distracts Alice, and she excuses herself to chase after it. She loses the rabbit and is in the middle of a gazebo with her SUPER SNOOTY husband-to-be. He asks to marry her, and she completely blanks out and runs away after she sees the rabbit again. She falls into a hole and goes down and down and down and down and down and down and down she goes until she lands in a strange surrounded by doors. She sees a key and picks it up and tries every door, it doesn't work. Then she sees a little tiny door, the key works, but she can't fit through. When she looks back there's a little bottle that says drink me, so she does, even though it looks weird, and she shrinks. Now she can go through the door! But wait, no she can't she left the key on the table! Oh no! While she's struggling to get the key off the table there are mysterious people in the back whispering wondering if she's the right Alice. People are saying no and other's are saying yes. The rabbit is SURE it's the right Alice because he's been follwing her for a while. (Kinda creepy?) Alice finds a cookie that says eat me, and she does and she goes taller. REALLY tall, I mean SUPER tall that the dress she's in gets really small, she grabs the key and drinks the potion again and gets small and unlocks the door into Wonderland. There's a small forest and she walks through and meets Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee, or aka the The Tweedles, or aka the Fat Boys as the Red Queen calls them. They have a small conversation about Alice and she's confused. They take her to see Absolum to see if she's the right Alice, Absolum is a fat smoking blue caterpillar, he says Alice is not hardly the right Alice. So everyone is all like oh yeah I told you and stuff. And then the Banderjack comes and attacks them and tries to kill them, but a dormouse stabs him in the eye and steals it. It was pretty gross, he chases after Alice and she's so convinced it's a dream, and stands him down but it isn't a dream and he scratches her arm. The Chesire cat says he can fix it later while she's walking in the woods. She doesn't want him to because she can't trust him. The cat takes her to the Mad Hatter and his friends. Since it is Alice's destiny to slay the Jabberwocky the Red Queen is angry and wants to cut off Alice's head. The queen's minions interuppt they're tea party and come and try to sniff her out, the Hatter stuffs her into a tea cup after he shrinks her. The dog sniffs her out and the Hatter quietly tells him that he doesn't need to tell them that she's in there. The dog agrees and leads the minions somewhere else. The Hatter and Alice leave the party and start to walk so that Alice can go visit the White Queen. She travels by hat, and the dog from earlier named Bayard comes back and catches the Hatter. But Alice still has his hat and decides to rest in the shade underneath the hat. Bayard comes and Alice is angry for ratting out her friend. He says simply they have his wife and pups. But will gladly take her to the Red Queen's kingdom to rescue him. So he does and she walks right in on the crochet game she was playing. A queen's white rabbit comes and gives her some of that cookie that makes her grow, she does again, and the queen notices. She asks who she is, even though she already has a slight idea. The rabbit says her name is Ummmm, and and the queen believes it! Ummmm from Umbridge! So the queen gives Alice some new clothes because she grew out of them so fast, and now the Red Queen gives Alice the tour and has her be like second in command. But the real second in command is away, HUNTING Alice. The Hatter is making hats for the Red Queen. The second in command comes back and sees Alice, and corners her, a person in the castle sees him and mistakes him for flirting with her. She runs to tell the queen. The second in command guy is all like no! She was all over me! Take HER head off not mine! I didn't do anything! (What a baby!) So the Red Queen believes him and wants to take Alice's head off, Alice runs to get the Valpor Sword to slay the jabberwocky on the prophecy day. She has to go into the cage of the banderjack and unlock it. To do that she has to give him his eye back. She needs to get away before the Red Queen sees her! She grabs the sword and runs away to the White Queen on the Banderjack. She gets there and she gets put back to her regular size and has a grand ole time. Until the day before the day seh is supposed to slay the jabberwocky. By this time the Mad Hatter has escaped his almost head cutting off. They are all deciding who will be the one to slay him if Alice is too scared. She HAS to kill him. So she is decided! She will kill him after a little pep talk she got from Absolum, who clears up the wrong-Alice and the right-Alice. She really IS the right Alice. All those nightmares from before aren't really nightmares, they are memories from being in Wonderland. So the next day everyone from the Red side and the White side come together and fight while Alice is trying to slay the jabberwocky. Predictably, she does, and the head comes off. The White queen gets the blood off the jabberwocky and gives it to Alice. Then since the White Queen is not allowed to harm any living creature she banishes second in command and the Red Queen, no one will talk to her and she won't have a friend. They are conjoined together by handcuffs. Alice DRINKS (yes, DRINKS) the jabberwocky blood and she goes home. She climbs out of the rabbit hole and runs back to the gazebo, she turns down her fiancee. Then her father-in-law-to-be-but-not-anymore-because-she-turned-him-down says that she could be an apprentice for him and go on a big trip. She does, and then a pretty blue butterfly comes by, who do you think it is? Absolum, right?? Yep. And that's how it ended.
So all in all, a pretty predictable movie, and there really was no fear in it. With all the hype it got, I was hoping for something more dramatic and awesome, but oh well.
So I give it
???
(3 stars)
Thanks for reading,
Delaney
Reference: http://infinitywordz.blogspot.com/2010/04/alice-in-wonderland-review.html
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